Unplugged

I had recurring dreams for 2 nights in a row where I kept seeing the same 3 people but could not remember what their names were. Last night they showed up again and at last they ganged up on me with hugs and smiles and asked me about their names. A blank embarrassing stare drew me to awakening and for some reasons I started to apologize to God that I would never forget those 3 angels again, as if somehow I knew who they were but did not entertain them. In between the aburd moments of semi-comas I began to recount the names of people I’ve known for years. Childhood friends, school mates with whathisname, girls I talked about Jesus with when I should’ve asked for movies, professor who caught me cheating, guys who fought the same classes thru college, biblical figures, Abraham, Isaac, and Abimelech. I felt compelled to rehearse them all over again but a quarter were gone with my eyes still in the dark. The memory no longer worked its magic and I panic, the clock ticked and the dawn was near, I had to get up but thank God it’s Friday. What are the names of my co-workers? That’s right, can’t do without them. Ernie, Ernest, right, it’s Ern. Went through 3 rounds of my small group. Adults from Bluesky were safe but I still had hard time with babies. Babies all look the same to me; they just cry and nag and pretend to look cute.

I love watching trains. DC/AC locomotives, push-pull EMU units, diesel heads, Eurosprinter, Eurostar, Shinkansen, TGV, ICE, Thales, X2000 tilt trains, American muscles, South African narrow gauges, plus many others. As a kid I love walking on the train tracks, better yet watching the trains near by depots since the tracks will spread wide in many and you know which ones are safe to walk on. I knew the schedule by heart, timetable for the express; those things approach every station in full force, wheeling it over 70 with all 10 coaches. My heart would pump to see the sight of the coming monsters, so much that I get drawn to be as near as I can. But when the missile zinged it through my ears all I ever felt was quickly lost in translation.

"Pull me up wherever you leave; I know you don't stop but I want to hop in and travel. My life is fading out but the tracks still lie ahead; left behind are the names of comfort I no longer carry in bag. I miss every thing about you but it is I who finally must let go."